Wisdom Story: Feel Grateful, Feel Great

Who here wants to be happy? Everybody, right? The Declaration of Independence puts the “pursuit of happiness” right up there next to “life” and “liberty” in the famous list of must-haves. Pursuing happiness – that is, trying to be happy – is seen as one of our fundamental rights. But, even if the government doesn’t try to stop you, how do you try to be happy? Most of the ways that we “try” to be happy – say, by eating vast quantities of chocolate – don’t really work. But there are scientists who study these things and they say that there is a way that you can try to be happy that does work. You can actually make yourself happier – on purpose!

Here’s an experiment they did: they interviewed a whole bunch of people. That means the scientists got people, one at a time, to come to a room and answer questions and do stuff. A guy named Julio came in for this experiment. First the scientists asked him questions that helped them figure out how happy he was that day. Then they asked him to spend a few minutes writing about someone in his life who had really influenced him, someone who had made a really positive difference in his life. So Julio picked his sister who he really loves a lot. He wrote a few paragraphs about her and everything she had done for him and when he was finished, the scientists said, “Okay, great. Now we’d like you to call her and read to her what you wrote.” Julio felt a little funny about doing that, but they handed him a phone and he couldn’t really get out of it.

So he called up his sister and he was like, “Hi. It’s me. Um, so, I’m a volunteer for an experiment and they made me write about someone who I really appreciate in my life and I picked you and now they’re making me call you and read it to you.” She was happy to hear it, so he read it to her and he got a little teary and she probably did too and everyone who was listening did too. And after he hung up with her he was beaming and the scientists asked him the same questions they had asked at the beginning to find out how happy he was now. But they changed some of the words and scrambled up the order so he wouldn’t realize they were the same questions.

And what the scientists found for Julio and for almost everyone in the experiment was that they were happier after they wrote down what they appreciated about someone and they were WAY happier if they got to talk to the person on the phone and tell them. And the people who ended up with the biggest difference between before and after were the people who were least happy to begin with. Being grateful makes you feel great, even when you don’t think you have much to be grateful for.

It also makes the world a better place. Because when you tell someone that you’re grateful for what they do – this wasn’t part of the experiment, but I’m just guessing here – when you tell someone you’re grateful for what they do, that probably makes them feel great. And then, they get inspired to do more great stuff! And maybe they’ll tell the people that they’re grateful to. And then those people will want to do more great stuff too. And it goes on and on and on, bigger and bigger and bigger.

There are so many ways to show your gratitude. You can call somebody up, like they did in the experiment, and tell them how grateful you are for them in your life. You can do something for someone, like your mother or your father, to show them how grateful you are for all that they do for you. You can give money to an organization, like First U, to show your gratitude for all the ways this community helps you. You can volunteer for a soup kitchen or food pantry to show your gratitude for having enough to eat. You can write a thank you note when someone gives you a gift and always say thank you like you really mean it when someone does something for you – even something small.

And the wonderful thing is that if you do that, you’ll make someone else feel happy and you will feel happier too. Feel grateful, feel great.